I am at uni an hour and a half early for uni.
The library is quite fantastic: Quiet, relaxing, comfy chairs, power-points for charging laptops... It's pretty amazing.
One thing is troubling me though. I can't feel God. And i want to.
Uni has cloaked me with anonymity. I see people that I am 90% sure i will never see again, or am dead sure i will never speak to. That allows me to stay silent, and walk around campus with my head-phones in, blocking out the world. And that is nice, it feels good.
The truth is, I can't be BOTHERED doing any thing else. I can't be stuffed talking the exact same small talk with every single person i meet.
"Hi, what course are you doing? cool, i'm doing ________. So why did you chose that? Oh yer, same. What do you want to be when you're older? Sweet! Where abouts do you live? Oh a friend of mine lives there! What school? Never heard of it. Woah, my lecture starts soon, nice meeting you... see you around! " .....yeah. not likely.
It is so easy to become cold and detached. But God calls us to be supernatural.
Unnatural in our behaviors and actions. He wants us to live a life consumed with love.
Oh Lord, as I go through this day today, please guide me in everything i do.
You know how i work, you know how i function. You know what breaks my spirit and what lifts me up.
Fill me with your love so i can face the people I meet and be a reflection of you. Fill me with love so I won't be impatient and greedy and easily annoyed during my day.
I'm so sorry for the times that I have been guided my my own sinful self, and I'm sorry for the many missed opportunities in my days here at uni.
Please use me and guide me. Although i may need some shaking, and some screaming, I am available.
